A Moment of Peace...

I sit on the couch, one knee drawn up to my chest and my arms around it, staring out the window and listening to the ticking of the clock. Time's passage is slow, painful, like a dull heartbeat that your whole body feels, like the pulse of blood behind a bruise that makes you ache all over, like a repetitive action once easy, but now too monotonous to bear.
The silence is a rarity, a strange moment of peace I may never again reclaim or experience...and though i once longed for it's presance, I now find it only makes the ache of loneliness worse. My breath comes in heavy gasps of agony, my head droops, and I heave with soundless sobs and cry dry tears that never fall.
And yet somehow, I am more able to face the coming chaos, and less likely to let it control me. I feel better for the feeling worse, little sense as that makes...and in the balance, I would never trade this moment for any amount of loving companionship.